Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Should You Date Someone That Already Has Kids

By Aydan Corkern

So, a while back you might have started dating someone you really liked and knew right from the beginning that they already had a child or maybe two. Then you wake up a few weeks later and wonder what you have gotten yourself into? Sometimes finding out that you have put yourself into a situation that you might not have been ready for is quite common in the dating world. Suddenly a few dates turned into a commitment somewhere along the line and you are not quite sure how you got there. You have discovered that this other person had a whole different side to their life that included raising a child or children and somehow you have landed yourself right in the middle of it.

This happens to people because they do not always consider the ramifications of dating someone that already has children when they do not. You might not have had any intentions of having children in your life for a long time, if ever, and finding yourself having to deal with issues surrounding a child especially when it is does not belong to you, can be overwhelming. You might have thought, so they have a kid, that is no big deal. If you develop feelings for this person with the child or children, they are likely to affect your life in some ways just like they affect the parents.

If the baby is sick, you can not go out. If you can not get a sitter, you can not go out. If you want to be intimate and the child is in the room with you, you can not. If you want to cuddle in front of the television and the child wants to play with their mommy or daddy, you can be put on the back burner. Now, it might never have been your intention to be annoyed by a child or even jealous of one, but this can happen with dating couples when children are involved.

It is so important that before you become deeply involved in a relationship with someone that has children already, make sure that you can handle it as well as they do. Most parents are going to put their kids first and you have to be prepared for the fact that you will not always be getting your way when it interferes with what is best for their child. It is usually not intentional on their part, it is just that being a good parent requires a lot of time and attention and if you are not ready to share in this, it might be best if you do not date anyone who already has kids.

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Aydan Corkern is a writer and you can visit his sites for more information: how to get your ex back and how to get your ex back.

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