Breaking Up Is Not Easy; How To End A Relationship

By Debbie Allen

Sometimes we find ourselves involved in a relationship that we know is not going to last. We may feel that we do not have enough in common with the other person or that the feelings simply are not strong enough to create a lasting relationship. Whatever the specific details, we sometimes want to end a relationship, but we want to break up in a dignified manner that will not result in a nasty scene or hurt feelings. Breaking up is not easy for either person involved.

There are some things that can be done to make the process easier on everyone. First of all the break up should not be delayed. If you know that a break up is coming then go ahead and get it over with. A prolonged relationship will often result in the other person developing expectations of a lasting love affair. Additionally, after you have decided that the connection has lost its appeal you are less likely to treat the other person in the same manner as before. That change can be felt by the other person and result in hurt feelings.

It is more considerate to break up in person than to make a phone call, send an email or a text message. The only time those methods are suggested is if you fear a nasty scene will result. If you have only had one or two dates it is acceptable to simply quit calling and put some distance between you and the other person.

Before you actually talk with the other person to do the breaking up it is important to carefully consider why you want the break up. This knowledge will enable you to make clear statements when you are in the actual break up conversation. Be sure to use statements that are clear and that describe how you feel. In other words, use 'I' statements. Avoid blaming or placing judgments.

You can say that one of your needs is not being met by using a statement such as, "I simply need more than I should expect from you." Be sure to express your appreciation for the time spent together and anything that you gained from the relationship. We learn something from everyone we meet. Let them know what you have learned from them. This helps to alleviate hurt feelings and to let the other person know that although the two of you may not be compatible for a lasting relationship, they do have a lot to offer the right person.

It is important that you are firmly committed to what you are saying. This is not a time to waver. If you feel that you are having second thoughts then you should say that you need time to think things over and talk again in a day or two.

Ending a relationship by saying that you want to remain friends can result in the other person receiving mixed messages. Carefully consider how that would impact your life before you say it.

Whether you do the breaking up or you are broken up with, this is a difficult phase to get through. You will likely have times that you are feeling lonely. Do not call your ex out of loneliness. Find another person that understands to help you through this time.

Do not be surprised at the reactions of your ex when you accidentally run into them. It could range from an enthusiastic hug to coolness, to being ignored, or even rudeness. This is usually determined by the person, their unique personality and how the break up is handled by both of you.

These tips should at least get you started on the way to an appropriate break up. The most important thing is to remember to be honest, nonjudgmental, and do not blame the other person. Your aim is not to hurt feelings.

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Get your ex back or strengthen an existing relationship - find out how, view videos and get a FREE report about relationships at: magicalmakeups.blogspot.com For more about romance & relationships visit: fitinsidenout.com/Romance.html Debbie Allen is an Internet marketer & writer.