How to Attract People Instead of Repelling Them

By Al Gammate

Some individuals seem to naturally attract people; some individuals seem to naturally repel people. Why? The answer is that the former makes people feel good, while the latter makes people feel awful.

If you make people feel good, you'll never be without friends; if you make people feel awful, you'll never have friends. Most of us lie somewhere between these extremes.

HAVING MANY FRIENDS

What are the advantages of having many friends? Though the advantages are many, I'll only focus on a few.

For example, having many friends is good for your mental health; because you always have someone to vent your frustrations to. It's good for your physical health, because you're more active doing things with others. It's good for your spiritual health, because socializing with people fosters ecumenical love. It's good for your financial health, because business friends can help you get promoted or find a better job.

HAVING NO FRIENDS

What are the disadvantages of having no friends? Though the disadvantages are many, I'll only focus on a few.

For example, having no friends is bad for your mental health; because you've no one to vent your frustrations to, leaving you anxious and depressed. It's bad for your physical health, because you've no one to do things with, leaving you inactively sitting home alone. It's bad for your spiritual health, because isolating yourself from people fosters selfishness. It's bad for your financial health, because you lack business friends who can help you get promoted or find a better job.

Given the advantages of having many friends and the disadvantages of having no friends, why would anyone choose the latter? The answer is ignorance. Friendless individuals are ignorant when it comes to making friends. They do stupid things that drive people away.

For example, friendless individuals often criticize, yell at, refuse to help, annoy, harass, threaten, vandalize the property of, complain about, refuse to understand the viewpoint of, or refuse to compromise with other people. Friendless individuals wrongly believe that disrespecting others somehow has its benefits - even in the face of reality, indicating otherwise!

BELIEF ENCOURAGES YOU

Are you friendless? Instead of attracting people, do you repel them? If so, you can change. First, you must change your belief regarding yourself and other people.

Instead of believing "Everyone else can go to hell; all I care about is me," you need to believe "If I treat others with respect, they'll probably treat me with respect." The former belief encourages you to respect yourself but disrespect others; the latter belief encourages you to respect both yourself and others.

The problem with disrespecting others is that they'll probably disrespect you in return. Most people are vengeful to some extent, so it's safest to treat others with respect.

The advantage of respecting others is that they'll probably respect you in return. Most people will return a favor done to them, so it's smart to do favors for others.

ATTRACT PEOPLE BEHAVIORALLY

Now that you've the proper belief to attract people, you need to work on having the proper behavior. How do you attract people behaviorally? The answer is simple.

First, you must behave confidently by smiling, making eye contact, having a pleasing voice, standing or sitting erect, and having a neat and clean appearance.

Second, encourage others to talk about themselves. If given the choice, most people would rather talk than listen. There's nothing that people enjoy more than an avid listener. In fact, some people pay psychotherapists large sums of money just to be listened to.

Third, if someone needs your help, help that person. Because that person will probably seek to return the favor. And even if that person doesn't return the favor, other people who saw or heard what you've done probably will.

Fourth, praise other people. More than half of the marriages in the United States fall apart. Why? The answer is simple. It's from lack of appreciation. People have a strong need to feel appreciated by their spouse, friends, and employer. Not only does lack of appreciation cause divorce, but it also ends friendships and promotes job turnover.

SUMMARY

In summarizing, if you're confident, a good listener, helpful, and a praiser, you'll naturally attract people wherever you go. You'll never be without friends, a good job, favors, respect, romance, happiness, and other blessings for very long.

So what're you waiting for? Go forth and attract people behaviorally.

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