By Kevin Sinclair
At last, you have found the person of your dreams; the one you've been searching for all of your life, and then one day you begin to feel a little trapped, with no time just for yourself. Most people want to a have a healthy relationship with their ideal soul mate but in order to keep this relationship on an even keel, it is imperative to have a little "me" time too.
It is not ideal for you to always be with your partner. This is a common mistake made by many couples, whether they are still in the honeymoon stage of their love affair or they have been together for years. If you create time for yourself you will have a lot more to offer to your partnership.
Many people who spend most of their time with their mate feel lonely and confused when they are away from them for any reason but there are a few ways you can combat this feeling, and at the same time give your best to your partner when you are together.
1. Pass the evening with your head buried in a good book. This peaceful time at home, reading with no interruptions will rejuvenate you when you meet up with your love again.
2. Watch a movie that you have been waiting to see - one that holds no interest for your partner, say, a good chick flick for example. Don't tell yourself you cannot ever see this movie just because your partner does not want to see it.
3. Pay a visit to your family. They are important and should not be neglected as you maybe did when you were first so wrapped up with the new love of your life.
4. Chill out with your mates. If they are good friends you will be able to loosen up and there will be no need to worry about how you are coming across to them. If your partner displays an unnatural jealousy towards you friends, it may be worth considering whether or not to continue with the relationship. Ask yourself "is this healthy?"
5. Partake in sports or your favorite leisure time activity. For instance, if you play golf but your partner doesn't there is absolutely no reason why you should not get yourself down to the golf course for a few rounds. There is nothing you should not be doing, just because it is not an interest of your partner.
6. Sometimes it just great to stay in and have a pamper night. Relax in a hot tub with candles and soothing music. This is sure to enhance your mood for later on when you see your partner again.
7. Shop 'till you drop. Go and treat yourself to something nice, and if you are feeling generous you can always buy your partner something new too. If you are short of cash you can always window shop making plans for your next payday.
Stop for lunch while shopping and enjoy that whopping chocolate desert, you know, the one you would be too ashamed for your lover to see you plowing your way through.
Keeping your relationship alive and healthy requires "me" as much as "we" time. Likewise when your partner discovers their own time is important, don't be jealous, allow them to chill in their own way too. This can only strengthen your relationship and prepare the way for a long a happy future together.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of My-Personal-Growth.com, a site that provides information and articles for self improvement and personal growth and development.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Law on Human Attraction
By James Yee
'Opposites attract' is a law of attraction, at least where electromagnetism is concerned. But are there laws about attraction between two people? 'In a world that is full of strangers' as a line in a famous song of the 1980's goes, is there a clear set of rules that allows two people to fall for each other?
Is attraction a matter of chemistry?
Maybe. According to scientists, the attraction between animals of the opposite sex is all about chemicals called pheromones. The effect of pheromones in behavior of insects is the most studied to date.
It has been observed, at least in some experiments, that pheromones are responsible for communication among same species and colony of ants. The horrible odor released by skunks to ward off enemies is said to be a kind of pheromone. Some species of apes rub pheromone-containing urine on the feet of potential mates to attract them.
Some scientists believe that animals (usually the females) such as insects and mammals send out these chemical signals to tell the male of their species that their genes are different from theirs. This gene diversity is important in producing offspring with better chances of survival.
The perfume industry has capitalized on pheromones as a means to increase one's sexual attractiveness to the opposite sex. Animals such as the whale and the musk deer were hunted down for these chemicals.
Lately, scientists are looking into the existence of human pheromones and its role in mate selection. There are many conflicting views in the realm of biology, chemistry, genetics, and psychology.
Most scientists would assert that these do not exist, or if they do, do not play a role in sexual attraction between a man and a woman. But new researches such as that conducted by Swiss researchers from the University of Bern led by Klaus Wedekind are slowly making these scientists rethink their stand.
Their experiment involved women sniffing the cotton shirts of different men during their ovulation period. It was found out that women prefer the smell of men's shirts that were genetically different, but also shared similarities with the women's genes.
This, like in the case of insects and other mammals, was to ensure better and healthier characteristics for their future children. But researchers also cautioned that preference for a male odor is affected by the women's ovulation period, the food that men eat, perfumes and other scented body products, and the use of contraceptive pills.
Does personality figure in sexual attraction?
Yes, but so does your perception of a potential mate's personality. According to a research conducted by Klohnen, E.C., & S. Luo in 2003 on interpersonal attraction and personality, a person's sense of self-security and at least the person's perception of his/her partner were found to be strong determinants of attraction in hypothetical situations. What does this tell us?
We prefer a certain personality type, which attracts you to a person. But aside from the actual personality of the person, which can only be verified through close interaction through time, it is your perception of your potential partner that attracts you to him/her, whether the person of your affection truly has that kind of personality or not.
This could probably account for a statement commonly heard from men and women on their failed relationships: 'I thought he/she was this kind of person.'
So how does attraction figure in relationships?
You have probably heard that attraction is a prelude, or a factor towards a relationship. Most probably, at least in the beginning; but attraction alone cannot make a relationship work.
It is that attraction that makes you notice a person from the opposite sex, but once you get to know the person more, attraction is just one consideration. Shared values, dreams, and passions become more significant in long-term relationships.
So should I stop trying to become attractive?
More than trying to become physically attractive, work on all aspects of your health: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
Physical attraction is still a precursor. Remember, biology predisposes us to choose the partner with the healthiest genes. Where your emotions are concerned, just ask this to yourself: would you want to spend time with a person who feels insecure about him/herself? Probably not!
There is wisdom in knowing yourself: who you are, your beliefs, values, and dreams. And do not pretend to be someone you are not. Fooling another person by making him/her think that you share the same values and beliefs is only going to cause you both disappointments. When you are healthy in all aspects, attractiveness becomes a consequence and not an end.
As mentioned in the Klohnen and Luo's research, a person's sense of self-security matters, perhaps even beyond attraction. But remember: do these things for yourself and not for other people. Only then can you truly harness your attractiveness as a person.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
James Yee is the webmaster of www.yeearticles.com.His tips on internet marketing is available at yeearticles.com/self-improve/Does_a_Law_on_Human_Attraction_Exist.php
'Opposites attract' is a law of attraction, at least where electromagnetism is concerned. But are there laws about attraction between two people? 'In a world that is full of strangers' as a line in a famous song of the 1980's goes, is there a clear set of rules that allows two people to fall for each other?
Is attraction a matter of chemistry?
Maybe. According to scientists, the attraction between animals of the opposite sex is all about chemicals called pheromones. The effect of pheromones in behavior of insects is the most studied to date.
It has been observed, at least in some experiments, that pheromones are responsible for communication among same species and colony of ants. The horrible odor released by skunks to ward off enemies is said to be a kind of pheromone. Some species of apes rub pheromone-containing urine on the feet of potential mates to attract them.
Some scientists believe that animals (usually the females) such as insects and mammals send out these chemical signals to tell the male of their species that their genes are different from theirs. This gene diversity is important in producing offspring with better chances of survival.
The perfume industry has capitalized on pheromones as a means to increase one's sexual attractiveness to the opposite sex. Animals such as the whale and the musk deer were hunted down for these chemicals.
Lately, scientists are looking into the existence of human pheromones and its role in mate selection. There are many conflicting views in the realm of biology, chemistry, genetics, and psychology.
Most scientists would assert that these do not exist, or if they do, do not play a role in sexual attraction between a man and a woman. But new researches such as that conducted by Swiss researchers from the University of Bern led by Klaus Wedekind are slowly making these scientists rethink their stand.
Their experiment involved women sniffing the cotton shirts of different men during their ovulation period. It was found out that women prefer the smell of men's shirts that were genetically different, but also shared similarities with the women's genes.
This, like in the case of insects and other mammals, was to ensure better and healthier characteristics for their future children. But researchers also cautioned that preference for a male odor is affected by the women's ovulation period, the food that men eat, perfumes and other scented body products, and the use of contraceptive pills.
Does personality figure in sexual attraction?
Yes, but so does your perception of a potential mate's personality. According to a research conducted by Klohnen, E.C., & S. Luo in 2003 on interpersonal attraction and personality, a person's sense of self-security and at least the person's perception of his/her partner were found to be strong determinants of attraction in hypothetical situations. What does this tell us?
We prefer a certain personality type, which attracts you to a person. But aside from the actual personality of the person, which can only be verified through close interaction through time, it is your perception of your potential partner that attracts you to him/her, whether the person of your affection truly has that kind of personality or not.
This could probably account for a statement commonly heard from men and women on their failed relationships: 'I thought he/she was this kind of person.'
So how does attraction figure in relationships?
You have probably heard that attraction is a prelude, or a factor towards a relationship. Most probably, at least in the beginning; but attraction alone cannot make a relationship work.
It is that attraction that makes you notice a person from the opposite sex, but once you get to know the person more, attraction is just one consideration. Shared values, dreams, and passions become more significant in long-term relationships.
So should I stop trying to become attractive?
More than trying to become physically attractive, work on all aspects of your health: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
Physical attraction is still a precursor. Remember, biology predisposes us to choose the partner with the healthiest genes. Where your emotions are concerned, just ask this to yourself: would you want to spend time with a person who feels insecure about him/herself? Probably not!
There is wisdom in knowing yourself: who you are, your beliefs, values, and dreams. And do not pretend to be someone you are not. Fooling another person by making him/her think that you share the same values and beliefs is only going to cause you both disappointments. When you are healthy in all aspects, attractiveness becomes a consequence and not an end.
As mentioned in the Klohnen and Luo's research, a person's sense of self-security matters, perhaps even beyond attraction. But remember: do these things for yourself and not for other people. Only then can you truly harness your attractiveness as a person.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
James Yee is the webmaster of www.yeearticles.com.His tips on internet marketing is available at yeearticles.com/self-improve/Does_a_Law_on_Human_Attraction_Exist.php
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