By Al Gammate
Some individuals seem to naturally attract people; some individuals seem to naturally repel people. Why? The answer is that the former makes people feel good, while the latter makes people feel awful.
If you make people feel good, you'll never be without friends; if you make people feel awful, you'll never have friends. Most of us lie somewhere between these extremes.
HAVING MANY FRIENDS
What are the advantages of having many friends? Though the advantages are many, I'll only focus on a few.
For example, having many friends is good for your mental health; because you always have someone to vent your frustrations to. It's good for your physical health, because you're more active doing things with others. It's good for your spiritual health, because socializing with people fosters ecumenical love. It's good for your financial health, because business friends can help you get promoted or find a better job.
HAVING NO FRIENDS
What are the disadvantages of having no friends? Though the disadvantages are many, I'll only focus on a few.
For example, having no friends is bad for your mental health; because you've no one to vent your frustrations to, leaving you anxious and depressed. It's bad for your physical health, because you've no one to do things with, leaving you inactively sitting home alone. It's bad for your spiritual health, because isolating yourself from people fosters selfishness. It's bad for your financial health, because you lack business friends who can help you get promoted or find a better job.
Given the advantages of having many friends and the disadvantages of having no friends, why would anyone choose the latter? The answer is ignorance. Friendless individuals are ignorant when it comes to making friends. They do stupid things that drive people away.
For example, friendless individuals often criticize, yell at, refuse to help, annoy, harass, threaten, vandalize the property of, complain about, refuse to understand the viewpoint of, or refuse to compromise with other people. Friendless individuals wrongly believe that disrespecting others somehow has its benefits - even in the face of reality, indicating otherwise!
BELIEF ENCOURAGES YOU
Are you friendless? Instead of attracting people, do you repel them? If so, you can change. First, you must change your belief regarding yourself and other people.
Instead of believing "Everyone else can go to hell; all I care about is me," you need to believe "If I treat others with respect, they'll probably treat me with respect." The former belief encourages you to respect yourself but disrespect others; the latter belief encourages you to respect both yourself and others.
The problem with disrespecting others is that they'll probably disrespect you in return. Most people are vengeful to some extent, so it's safest to treat others with respect.
The advantage of respecting others is that they'll probably respect you in return. Most people will return a favor done to them, so it's smart to do favors for others.
ATTRACT PEOPLE BEHAVIORALLY
Now that you've the proper belief to attract people, you need to work on having the proper behavior. How do you attract people behaviorally? The answer is simple.
First, you must behave confidently by smiling, making eye contact, having a pleasing voice, standing or sitting erect, and having a neat and clean appearance.
Second, encourage others to talk about themselves. If given the choice, most people would rather talk than listen. There's nothing that people enjoy more than an avid listener. In fact, some people pay psychotherapists large sums of money just to be listened to.
Third, if someone needs your help, help that person. Because that person will probably seek to return the favor. And even if that person doesn't return the favor, other people who saw or heard what you've done probably will.
Fourth, praise other people. More than half of the marriages in the United States fall apart. Why? The answer is simple. It's from lack of appreciation. People have a strong need to feel appreciated by their spouse, friends, and employer. Not only does lack of appreciation cause divorce, but it also ends friendships and promotes job turnover.
SUMMARY
In summarizing, if you're confident, a good listener, helpful, and a praiser, you'll naturally attract people wherever you go. You'll never be without friends, a good job, favors, respect, romance, happiness, and other blessings for very long.
So what're you waiting for? Go forth and attract people behaviorally.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
The Guaranteed Cure for Failure, an electronic publication, costs just $19.95 and is available through http://www.theguaranteedcure.com The Guaranteed Cure Company, founded by Al A. Gammate, specializes in cures that cure.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
The Importance of Communication
By Jonathon Hardcastle
To maintain a healthy relationship, you need to be close to your partner. The best way to do this is to talk to each other. Your partner, above all, should be someone you trust and feel secure with. If you have a problem or you feel stressed, it is important to inform them of how you're feeling. This may not only help you feel more optimistic but you may also be surprised at the advise or reassurance that your partner can provide you with when approached.
Many couples tend to bottle their personal problems up and treat their own lives as something that should be kept private from everyone. This is the wrong attitude to take as carrying all your problems on your own shoulders can lead to a feeling of isolation and despair. If your partner is informed of the things that distress you, they will begin to grasp a greater understanding of your personality and appreciate the fact that you turn to them in a crisis.
By maintaining good communication, both of you should feel included in each other's lives and rarely feel confused about any aspects of your relationship. If your relationship is experiencing difficulties or if you have any concerns about your partners behavior, the only way the situation can be restored is to talk out any problems. Many people do not like the thought of confronting anyone, let alone their partner, but you are likely to learn a lot from listening to each others thoughts. When you are attempting to sort things out, think rationally in order to prevent the discussion from transforming into an argument.
It is likely that one of you may say something which will evoke anger so you should try to think about your wording before saying it to remain tactful. Be careful to ensure that your points are not all criticism of your partner; if you blame each other constantly, nothing will ever be resolved.
A vital part of communication is listening and if you both fail to do this, then you will only ever see things from your point of view. Put yourself in your partner position when they describe what is bothering them, you will probably realize that sometimes your actions can be just as unreasonable as theirs.
Above all, if both of you care about your relationship with each other, you should find it easy to resolve any issues and keep each other informed. Sharing stories and talking about your day should not feel like an infringement of your privacy but a fun way of getting to know each other better.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
Jonathon Hardcastle writes articles on many topics including Business, Finance, and Employment
To maintain a healthy relationship, you need to be close to your partner. The best way to do this is to talk to each other. Your partner, above all, should be someone you trust and feel secure with. If you have a problem or you feel stressed, it is important to inform them of how you're feeling. This may not only help you feel more optimistic but you may also be surprised at the advise or reassurance that your partner can provide you with when approached.
Many couples tend to bottle their personal problems up and treat their own lives as something that should be kept private from everyone. This is the wrong attitude to take as carrying all your problems on your own shoulders can lead to a feeling of isolation and despair. If your partner is informed of the things that distress you, they will begin to grasp a greater understanding of your personality and appreciate the fact that you turn to them in a crisis.
By maintaining good communication, both of you should feel included in each other's lives and rarely feel confused about any aspects of your relationship. If your relationship is experiencing difficulties or if you have any concerns about your partners behavior, the only way the situation can be restored is to talk out any problems. Many people do not like the thought of confronting anyone, let alone their partner, but you are likely to learn a lot from listening to each others thoughts. When you are attempting to sort things out, think rationally in order to prevent the discussion from transforming into an argument.
It is likely that one of you may say something which will evoke anger so you should try to think about your wording before saying it to remain tactful. Be careful to ensure that your points are not all criticism of your partner; if you blame each other constantly, nothing will ever be resolved.
A vital part of communication is listening and if you both fail to do this, then you will only ever see things from your point of view. Put yourself in your partner position when they describe what is bothering them, you will probably realize that sometimes your actions can be just as unreasonable as theirs.
Above all, if both of you care about your relationship with each other, you should find it easy to resolve any issues and keep each other informed. Sharing stories and talking about your day should not feel like an infringement of your privacy but a fun way of getting to know each other better.
Article Source: http://www.articlehighlight.com
Jonathon Hardcastle writes articles on many topics including Business, Finance, and Employment
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